“And Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34 ESV).
Today is a good day to think not only about the words of Jesus that I have quoted above, but also those words from the Lord’s Prayer. “Forgive,,,, as we forgive…”
I think that sometimes the hardest person for us to forgive is ourselves. We all have those people in our lives; past or present that we find hard to forgive. As Jesus prays for all of us and our sins that put Him on the Cross; we may be too arrogant by only thinking about God forgiving us for our sins. The concern about our relationship with God is very important, of course. Our relationship with God through our relationships with others is equally important. Our relationship with God includes how we relate to ourselves, and that we forgive ourselves.
Our struggle to forgive ourselves comes by way of false guilt and/or guilt that really is ours. In The Rule of St. Benedict, Chapter 4: On the Tools for Good Works, he wrote,
“Place your hope in God alone. If you notice something good in yourself, give credit to God, not to yourself, but be certain the evil you commit is always your own and yours to acknowledge” (RB 1980: The Rule of St. Benedict in English, p. 27-28).
St. Benedict is telling us to notice and use the good things we are given to use, and give glory to God in and through them. He is also warning us to be cognizant of who owns the evil we commit. Sometimes, we concentrate on what someone did to us and how much it hurts too much. If we will spend some time in Lectio Divina on the words of Jesus on the Cross, and especially the words “forgive,,,,, as we forgive…” we might discover that the person who needs our forgiveness the most, is ourselves. Whether we were directly responsible for what happened or not.
Contemplative prayer leads us to search for God beyond the surface. God is working God’s wonders through our pain, frustration and lack of self forgiveness. God is at work in our often unconscious decision to beat ourselves up about things that are not our fault. God is calling us through them to spend some time with Jesus at the foot of the Cross to hear Him pray for us in the words, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” The contemplative sees these words, through the power of the Holy Spirit, as the way to a deeper relationship with God by allowing God to help us to experience a profound healing, by forgiving ourselves. Until we spend that time, we often walk around through life in a pain and darkness that we do not notice or acknowledge how much it is destroying our life and relationships. When we trust in the crucified Jesus and these amazing words prayed from the Cross, and those in the Lord’s Prayer, we will know a freedom with God, others and ourselves that brings us to a wonderful Easter experience.
Have you taken time on this Good Friday to ask Jesus to help you forgive yourself?
Peace be with all who enter here.
Brother Anselm Philip King-Lowe, OSB
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