Reflection on The Clean Heart

Create in me a clean heart, O God,,,, (Psalm 51:10 NASB).

As many of my readers know, I live with autism. My autism challenges every aspect of my life. Social interactions. Self regulation. Communicating with others verbally and non-verbally. My autism includes a physical disability called dyspraxia. Dyspraxia is a mental to physical motor response condition. It means that there is a time delay from the moment my brain tells my body when to stand up to when I actually stand up. I have what is called executive dysfunction that makes doing daily tasks such as home cleaning and organization difficult unless I have assistance from a homemaker or personal support service.

Ash Wednesday and the Season of Lent is a time to reflect on what is going on in our hearts. Remember that when we speak of the heart in Contemplative spirituality, we are talking about the whole of ourselves. Who we really are within ourselves and where God is in that relationship is an important part of what the contemplative does during Lent.

In St. Benedict’s Rule for Monasteries, he tells us to “keep [our] hearts most pure and at the same time wash away during these days the negligences of other times” (p.71).

When it comes to the spiritual life, all of us have an executive dysfunction as to what keeping our hearts clean means. Most of the time, we become negligent in asking for help to do the cleaning. Lent for the contemplative, is about allowing God to become our homemaker. God will create and recreate a clean heart within us, if we will let go of our false-sense of self so that God can do the cleaning.

It is during these days of Lent that God will create a clean heart within us in this moment. God is always here to help us clean.

What does God creating a clean heart mean for you this Lent?


Peace be with all who enter here.

Brother Anselm Philip King-Lowe, OSB

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Reflection on The Loving Fragrance of God

“Mary took a pound of costly perfume made of pure nard, anointed Jesus’ feet, and wiped them with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume.” (See John 12: 1-11 NRSV).

In Psalm 36:5 the Psalmist proclaims “Your love, O Lord, reaches to the heavens, and your faithfulness to the clouds.” I think Mary knew and experienced that love in a most profound way. Her action of washing the feet of Jesus, drying them and anointing them was her way of celebrating that love. Her service to Jesus was symbolic of what she knew intimately within the whole of herself.

Contemplative prayer is an action of love by God, inviting us to experience that love. It is a love that is so profound that all we can do is be in the presence of God, and surrender everything we are and have to that presence. It is a fragrance that touches our senses with experiences we cannot explain or describe. We can only know that presence and live into it.

Over this Lent God has been speaking to my heart through a song entitled “You Know Better Than I”. It is from the animated movie Joseph: King of Dreams. The lyrics to the refrain are, “You know better than I, You know the way. I’ve let go the need to know why. For you know better than I.”

I do not know what God is doing with my life with this chronic back pain. I only know that I have had to open myself to God through what is uncertain and “let go of the reason to know why.” If God can fill the fragrance of a room by a broken jar of ointment as Jesus prepares for His imminent death on Good Friday; then my back pain and my wheelchair are certainly not obstacles for God’s Grace to transform me and others around me. The real conversion has only just begun. After all, St. Benedict’s Spirituality can be best surmised in the words, “Always we begin again.”

Where in your life are you experiencing the fragrance of God’s love this Holy Week?


Peace be with all who enter here.

Brother Anselm Philip King-Lowe, OSB

If you or someone you know could benefit from Spiritual or Grief Companionship, please go to my website here.

If you feel led to buy me some coffee to help support this ministry, please scroll down to the bottom of the right sidebar and click on the Benedictine Coffee Mug. Thank you so very much.

Reflection on The Whole heart

“I will give you thanks with my whole heart…” (Psalm 138:1 The Book of Common Prayer, p.793).

Each time I pray these words, I feel a little guilty. How can I give thanks to God with my whole heart when it is so divided? Can I really give thanks to God from the whole of myself, when I am confronted time and again with how much my whole self is broken? I experience the same feelings when I pray the words to Psalm 9:1, Psalm 57:1 and Psalm 108:1 which reads “My heart is firmly fixed, O God, my heart is fixed….”. Is my heart really fixed on giving thanks to God?

If I lack any sufficiency to give thanks to God with my whole heart by seeing my heart from my own point of view, I will fall short. When I listen to my false-sense of self and try to be the one in control of what I think my whole heart should be, I will be disappointed.

Regardless of the condition of my whole of self, God wants me to give thanks to God with my whole being. Psalm 51:18 reads, “The sacrifice of God is a a troubled spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.” When I give thanks to God with my whole self along with all that is wounded and broken, God the Holy Spirit makes good use of me.

Contemplative prayer leads to know ourselves from God’s perspective. God sees more in us thank we ever could. Our whole hearts rejoicing and /or weeping when surrendered in faith with thanksgiving for God’s goodness, becomes God’s work of sanctification through the Holy Spirit. Because, within our whole self, is our eternal truth. The “truth that sets us free” (see John 8:31). When our eternal truth seeks union with God’s truth for no other reason than God alone; everything about us becomes beautiful through God’s transforming grace.

“Let us open our eyes to the light that comes from God, and our ears to the voice from heaven that calls out this charge: If you hear God’s voice today, do not harden your hearts (Psalm 95:8)” (The Rule of Saint Benedict in English, p.16).

What does giving thanks to God with your whole heart mean for you?


Peace be with all who enter here.

Brother Anselm Philip King-Lowe, OSB

If you feel led to buy me some coffee to help support this ministry, please scroll down to the bottom of the right sidebar and click on the Benedictine Coffee Mug. Thank you so very much.

Lent Reflection: Hiding Place



You are my hiding place, O Lord.  (Psalm 32:8. The Book of Common Prayer, p.624).

Thomas Merton in his book Thoughts in Solitude wrote, “There is no greater disaster in the spiritual life than to be immersed in unreality.”  The unreality he wrote about can be an addiction we are not taking care of.  Or, a conversation with a friend or spouse that we have been avoiding.  It can and most often is the unreality of our life with God within ourselves.  How do we know what our relationship with God is really like if we don’t spend time with God as our hiding place?

Sr. Joan Chittister, OSB in her book Illuminated Life: Monastic Wisdom for Seekers of Light wrote, “Silence frightens us because it is silence that brings us face to face with ourselves.”

In the midst of a noisy world full of radio, television, the internet, iPhones and iPads; our God is missing us.  God is missing being closer to us in moments of solitude and silence so that we may embrace God as our hiding place; where God is waiting to embrace us.  In God who is our hiding place, our imperfections do not matter.  Our health in mind, body or spirit does not matter.  All the questions and frustrations, broken relationships and desires can be found in a nice crowded closet when we spend time away for a little while with God who is our hiding place.

In God our hiding place, we can enjoy the mystical experience of contemplating God’s perfect and holy love.  The Holy One who gave us Jesus our Redeemer (who Himself sought out moments of solitude), enters into the crowded places and spaces of our lives while we are hidden away with God, while God “creates a clean heart” in us.  In God as our hiding place, we surrender all; and seek only union with the God who has already found us.

Are you spending time in silence and solitude with God as your hiding place this Lent?


Brother Anselm Philip King-Lowe, OSB


Lenten Reflection: A Clean Heart

God and the Heart


Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. (Psalm 51:11. The Book of Common Prayer, p.657).

The Psalmist in Psalm 51 is pleading with God for mercy and forgiveness.  It is a recognition of our human mortality.  We are sinners who need God’s grace and healing.  Psalm 51 is about emptying the dirt of our personal and spiritual self and depending completely on God to redeem us.  Is it any wonder why in The Rule of St. Benedict he prescribes that Psalm 51 (50 as St. Benedict used the Grail Psalms in which they were all one number behind our current English version) be used every day during Matins (or Lauds)?   Esther de Waal in her book A Life-Giving Way: A Commentary on The Rule of St. Benedict writes, “The act of acknowledging my weakness and failure is not a morbid dwelling on sin but a turning in confidence to the God who sees a humble and contrite heart and is there to rescue me just as he rescued his people in the past” (p.79).

So what about a clean heart?  The contemplative understands that Psalm 51:11 is a deeply prayerful desire in our heart by God’s initiative that lets go of everything we are holding on to in there; and trusting in God’s view point of our hearts; to make them a clean space for God alone.  When we let go of all the stuff that weighs us down and crowds us in and put our trust in the Holy Spirit; God resides in there because the space has been cleaned out and made ready for the one who gives our hearts all that we need.  Our hearts are made clean and ready to be occupied by its Creator and Redeemer.

What do you need let go of for God to come into your clean heart this Lent?


Brother Anselm Philip King-Lowe, OSB