Reflection on Release and Recovery

Jesus unrolled the scroll and found the place where it was written: “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to let the oppressed go free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.” And he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant, and sat down. The eyes of all in the synagogue were fixed on him. Then he began to say to them, “Today this scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing.” (See Luke 4:14-21 NRSV).

Over the past few months, I have been dealing with some really awful back pain. It is so debilitating that when I have a long distance to walk, I need a wheelchair. After some x-rays and an MRI, I learned that I have a T-12 lumbar disk protrusion in my lower left L1-L-2. I will be working with more doctors about pain management and physical therapy. All of this added to my autism spectrum disorder and other issues have not made life easier. I have to rely on my spouse for help with many day to day care matters. I am being confronted by my sense of mortality. At the same time, I am learning about new strengths that I did not know I have. The grief of loss, is also my opportunity to see some new life that God is raising up in me.

I just started reading a book that could not be timed better. The books title is, Beginning Again: Benedictine Wisdom for a living with Illness by Mary C. Earle. It is by no accident that her first chapter is centered on the very first word of The Rule of St. Benedict, “Listen.” Benedict tells us to incline the ear of our hearts to what God is communicating with us in every aspect of ourselves. God is speaking through what our bodies are experiencing. When our bodies experience any kind of illness, we experience the grief and pain of what we lose, as well as the transformation of the new life within us.

Jesus is the presence and power of God who helps us to see what prisons we put ourselves in. Many of those prisons are where we lock our true selves in because of the labels of our society. Jesus helps us see what we are blind to, such as the message that if our bodies are not completely abled to do everything that we are expected to, we are a failure. God the Holy Spirit speaks to us when we see and embrace this moment when we face and grieve the pain of what was, but no longer is; and listen for what new things God is doing.

Sr. Joan Chittister, OSB in her book Wisdom Distilled from the Daily: Living The Rule of St. Benedict Today wrote, “The Spiritual life is achieved only by listening to all of life and learning to respond to its dimensions wholly and with integrity” (p. 16).

God is speaking to your heart through what you are experiencing in the wholeness of who you are; right here, right now. What are you listening to God saying to you?

Amen.

Peace be with all who enter here.

Brother Anselm Philip King-Lowe, OSB

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