Reflection on Dry Ground

dry-land

“O God, you are my God; eagerly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my flesh faints for you, as in a barren land where there is no water.” (Psalm 63:1. The Book of Common Prayer, p.670).

The image above is a field of cracked dry land.  It seems endless.  It seems hopeless.  Very little if any can grow on it.  There is no water to nurture or sustain life on this fractured land.

Our lives are often like broken, dry land.  The heat of life’s many experiences bares down on us and seems to dry up the moisture needed to sustain us.  We grow tired and feel helpless and useless.  Our lives and even our faith cracks and our souls cry out for some kind of relief.

The Psalmist feels the same way.  The Psalmist knows that the only hope one has of recovering is to seek God as one’s God, eagerly as one is.  Thirsty, fainting, barren, cracked open.  The point of the Vow of Stability in Monastic Spirituality is to seek stability in our relationship with God as we are; not as we wish we were, or others might like us to be.  We seek stability in Christ by taking the masks off and letting go of every sense of hopelessness that tells us that there is no way that God can make use of us in our present circumstances.  Benedictine-Camaldolese spirituality of solitude and silence, tells us that it is in this very moment with our lives as they are, is where God has us, and works God’s will through us.

As I spent time meditating on these words in contemplative prayer today, I experienced a mystical moment in which I saw what appeared to be God’s water of new life gushing out to fix the cracks in the dry land.  While the water was flowing over the cracks, the cracks were not being filled, and the land was not refreshed.  I asked the Holy Spirit what was happening.  I got the feeling that God’s waters do not always fill all the cracks and completely mends us together, because God still has plans for us through our cracked and wounded lives.  If God washes over all the cracks and dry spaces, God may not be able to heal other wounds that we have yet to trust in God to mend.  Sometimes what remains broken, is another opportunity for God to bring healing to us at another point in God’s timing.  What I found myself needing to let go of, is my desire to control what I think God should do about every crack in the dry lands of my life.   Though I may think of them as wounds that can do no further good for me or others,; God still has work to do in and through my brokenness to bring me to a greater life of holiness and wholeness.  In the end it is not up to me what God does with my cracked and dry land.  I have to surrender that into God’s hands.

In God’s care and Providence, our brokenness is something God can do many wonderful things yet to be experienced.

“What is not possible to us by nature, let us ask the Lord to supply by the help of His Grace.” (RB 1980: The Rule of Saint Benedict in English. The Prologue, verse 41, p.18).

“1. Sit in your cell as in Paradise…  7. Sit like a baby chick, content with the grace of God, who, unless its mother gives it something, knows nothing and has nothing to eat.” (From The Short Rule of St. Romuald).

What are you letting God do with the cracks and wounds in your life?

Amen.

Peace be with all who enter here.

Brother Anselm Philip King-Lowe, OSB

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Reflection on Thirsting

ThirstyDeer

“Just like a deer that craves streams of water, my whole being craves you, God.  My whole being thirsts for God, the living God. When will I come and see God’s face?” (Psalm 42:1,2 Common English Bible).

What do you find yourself thirsting for these days?  Peace?  Wealth? Popularity? Narcissism? Being noticed and liked?  Personal satisfaction with everything and/or everybody? Our various addictions or obsessions?

All of us in one way or live with the illusion that we need to be satisfied by something exterior.  Being satisfied is not a terrible thing, as long as we do not seek satisfaction for the sake of itself.  When what we desire to satisfy us becomes what we desire to possess for the sake of itself, that is when we are thirsting for something much deeper within our whole being.

There is something to be said for spending time in prayer while being physically hungry or thirsty.  In so doing, we fulfill the words of Jesus in His temptation. “People won’t live only by bread, but by every word spoken by God.” (Matthew 4:4 Common English Bible).  When we bring our hunger and thirst into our contemplative and/or centering prayer we acknowledge for ourselves what the Psalmist wrote. “My whole being thirsts for God, the living God.”  By letting go of all that keeps us attached with our false-sense of self, we are able to follow Jesus through the Holy Essence of God into our own essence to search and find that perfect union with God.  God’s love gives the sweetest tasting water turned into wine to satisfy our thirsting souls, and gives new life to ours.

“Prefer nothing to the love of Christ.” (St. Benedict’s Rule for Monasteries. Chapter 4: The Instruments of Good Works, p.15).

“4. The Path you must follow is in the Psalms–never leave it.” (From The Short Rule of St. Romuald).

What is it that you are thirsting for today?

Br. Anselm Philip King-Lowe, OSB

Peace be with all who enter here.

Advent Reflection: Keeping Watch, Acknowledge Your Thirst

ThirstyDeer

As the deer longs for the water-brooks, so longs my soul for you, O God.  My soul is athirst for God, athirst for the living God; when shall I come to appear before the presence of God?  (Psalm 42:1,2. The Book of Common Prayer, p.643).

They say that the first step towards fixing something is to admit that it is broken.  The first thing to do when we need something, is to ask for it.

Every time we find ourselves empty and missing something, even when we are with someone we love very deeply; that emptiness is saying something to us.  There is that something that is there by which we do not feel complete or satisfied.  It is a thirst deep within ourselves for the Living God.  That thirst wants more than anything this world can possibly give us.  It grows weary of all the cheap imitations for gratification found in material things, fame, wealth and/or power.  Billy Joel sang of this emptiness in the words, “you wake up with yourself.”

This longing in our hearts is also the longing of God for us.  God wants more than anything to satisfy our deep inner longing for God’s Self.  The desire itself is there by God’s initiative. All the longing in our souls for God, is God’s deepest desire for us to satisfy that urgency through God alone.  Such a desire can be satisfied by allowing God to fill that space with the Holy Spirit so that God takes up residence and we know that all other things pale in comparison to such wonderful love, grace and hope.

Let us keep watch for Jesus to come and give us that living water of God for which we thirst.  May we find our thirsts quenched, because God allowed us to drink of God’s Goodness that is always flowing and never ending.

Amen.

Br. Anselm Philip King-Lowe, n/OSB